Wednesday, November 3, 2010

fine fresh fierce


THIS is the best candy corn in the history of corn syrup.  Brach's candy corn is made with honey, though, which makes it healthy so it's okay that I eat an average of 47 (big) bags per Halloween season. Now that Halloween is over, it's pretty much shelved until next September, making it a rare and elusive treat, much like a smile on Eminem's face.

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. It incorporates all of the best things of which I am either an expert or huge fan of: creepy stuff, sugar and cold weather.  I have over 50 scarves and in order to make the greatest use of them, I start wearing them as soon as the temperature drops below 70 degrees. but then it gets too cold and I start complaining and longing for summer.. until it gets to be too hot and humid again and I start melting into the sidewalk and my soul pours out my eyes in an eternal struggle against the oppressive heat. Endless cycle. I am the world's greatest complainer.
"No" was actually my first word
Anyway, for Halloween I had to throw together a last minute costume because of my last minute decision to actually attempt a social life this past weekend. I wound up at a bar in NYC's meatpacking district, shoved up against a sweaty guy in a suit (if his costume was 'douchebag,' mission accomplished) until my friends and I made our way to a table in the back.

Oops, I forgot this isn't a livejournal entry. No one cares; sorry.

I went as a half-assed Katy Perry. All that candy corn consumption made it impossible for me to wear daisy dukes and a bikini on top so my costume was more pathetic than my love life (jk nothing is more pathetic than that). I did buy a blue wig and drink Gin and juice all night, though. Only one person guessed who I was. Someone else told me it was okay that the rest of my outfit sucked because I actually looked like Katy Perry in the face, so good job anyway. This is not remotely true unless he meant I look like Katy Perry after some disfiguring accident at a nuclear power plant. It felt like a backhanded compliment anyway. 

It was a struggle to get all my hair underneath that wig, but I award myself an A+ for effort.

I spent too much money on that wig to use it for just one night, so I'm going to have to think of another costume that isn't a smurf that calls for a blue wig next year. It sucks that Halloween is now over and I totally forgot to buy giant bags of candy (half off) to wallow in for weeks to come (more like days, who am I kidding). I can't justify buying a huge bag of Snickers now.... just kidding I'll find a way. I always do.