Friday, September 23, 2011

i drive myself crazy thinking of nsync lyrics

A month or so before my 13th birthday was the release of Nsync's final studio album, Celebrity.  I remember going to the now defunct electronics store, The Wiz (RIP), and buying a copy of it as soon as the store opened, fearful there wouldn't be enough copies to go around if I chose to get there any later than the ass crack of dawn (I was the only customer in the store; no one cared).

pictured: me as soon as I bought Celebrity
I listened to Celebrity obsessively, making sure to replay the songs about love and/or heartbreak until my parents threatened to give me the sex talk. I started listening via CD player so they never had to.

I used to think love songs were really romantic because the lyrics were pretty much ripped verbatim from the Livejournal entries I used to dedicate to the countless boys I was hopelessly in like with back when I was 13 and 16 and probably up until last week. Unrequited love brings the shady out of even the most emotionally stable of people.

I had a huge crush on about 87 different boys at the time and the song "Something Like You" was pretty much written about each and every one of them except for the part where the boy liked me back. I remember writing the lyrics out in my old diary that I've since physically torn apart and lit on fire and thrown away.  I still picture a black sky and a sandy white beach because of these really poignant lines:

So many times I thought I held it in my hands
But just like grains of sand
Love slipped through my
fingers

above: photo no doubt tacked onto Nsync's very own "inspiration board"
As a pathetic 12 year old love seemed like this magical entity that would be bestowed upon me as soon as I hit puberty.  I wasn't ready to be put under love's spellbinding power, but I knew I'd be fully prepared for it so long as I continued to listen to sappy love songs that I couldn't relate to.

About an hour ago, Nsync's "Selfish" (also off the hugely underrated and unappreciated, Celebrity) came up on shuffle. Just kidding, I hardly ever put my iTunes on shuffle; I was listening to it voluntarily. But as I listened to it, I realized I was actually hearing the lyrics for the first time.


Let's take a look:

i'll be taking up your time
til the day i make you realize
that for you there could be no one else
I've just gotta have you for myself

The song immediately takes a turn for the possessive. Simple persistence, you say? Fine. It gets worse. Take it to the bridge:

why do you keep us apart????
why won't you give up your heart????
you know that we're meant to be together
why do you push me away???
all that i want is to give you love
....

forever...

and ever...

and ever...

AND EVER.......

As the crescendo builds toward the last "and ever" a chill shimmies down my spine. The guy singing the bridge part of this song is most likely a 40 year old heavy mouth breather living in a basement apartment with photos of you plastered all over his homemade darkroom.  Society views him as well adjusted and even friendly until someone takes a closer look at the simple, woven bracelet he never seems to take off his wrist or leave uncovered for very long.  Is that... human hair... or...?

Chris Kirkpatrick's shiny teeth and him

At least "Something Like You" is saccharinely sweet in a desperate sort of way, and not as possessive and creepy as "Selfish." Don't get me started on "Digital Get Down" or even "Up Against the Wall." Cyber sex and random club sex???? I kind of expected it from Justin, but the rest of you??? Et Tu Joey???  Won't anyone think of the children??? or at least the parents of said children? I don't know how mine can look me in the eye after hearing me sing along to the Spice Girls' "2 Become 1" so many times. Oh God. I really don't know who should be more embarrassed. Crawling in my skin; these wounds they will not heal.