|oh wait Daria had talent and an actual future in sight|
|new york new york it's a hell of a town|
My first week at school, I played guitar loudly in my room in the hopes that someone would knock on my door and want to talk to me? Try to start a band? Fall in love with me? Isn't that how it works in movies? I really don't know where I was going with that one because knowing how to play guitar is as rare as Johnny Depp in a Tim Burton film. It didn't work. No one even asked me to stop playing, which is the worst kind of rejection there is.
By the time 2am rolled around and everyone slowly made their way back to their respective dorms I was ready to transfer to a community college back home and move in with my cats.
From that point on I decided to stick with my roommate and latch onto her friends. This is an annoying quality to have and something I've since abandoned but at the time it was really useful in helping me not be a total recluse. Despite my measly attempts at becoming the Life Of The Party that I never was in high school, I came to realize that sometimes life is like a Hallmark card and there's no point in forcing myself to be someone I'm not. The truth is while I would rather break a thousand mirrors than look into one, I don't think of myself as a total failure of a human being. After accepting my fate as the special kind of sap who cries over toilet paper commercials, I decided to give up the charade and stick it out. I already had at least 2 friends which is just as many as Harry Potter had. That is success enough.
I understand getting out of your comfort zone, but I don't need to move 3000 miles away to do that. I can do something simple like leave my apartment on my days off instead of staying in. Would moving away from the few friendships it took me months to cultivate really be all that beneficial? Am I really going to become a new person just because I'm in a new climate? What about my gerbil?